See The Many Reasons Why George Aint Shit

No matter what book you look in… the Dictionary, the Encyclopedia, or the Bible, Two things remain the same…

1. George Rios Aint Shit… AND…

2. He’s Still A Bitch in My Book

Buy Merch

2,069+

Walked tabs from bars and restaurants

270+

Disappointed girls, guys, and they/them

1,000+

Back alley BJs, HJs, ZJs and more....

Banned From

See How George Can Service You

First-Class Professional Bitch

Walking Tabs

You aint ever seen a tab walker like this tab walker. He will have everyone cheering while he orders and then leave you with the bill

Losing at Poker

Get insurance for your rental property to protect against damages and liabilities.

Taking Double Ds

He learned the hard way how to pay off his tabs, 2 dicks at a time.

Bitch Slapped By Chad At Third Base

Chad was tired of George talking and slapped him upside the head. Made George pay for a round of shots before he left…..

Kicked Out of Niner Nation By Viral Patel

George kept telling everyone the next drink was on him… but he never paid the bill and left everyone with the tab… after kicking his ass, Viral kicked him out of Niner Nation…

Losing His Pool Stick and His Manhood

George was the king of using balls and sticks, but when he tried to pool shark the wrong group, they quickly reminded him where their balls and sticks go. Deep Hershey…

2k+

Bags Thrown

270+

Cigarettes Smoked

20+

Juice Land Drinks

100+

Snack Breaks

THIS IS A PARODY WEBSITE WITH NO AFFILIATION WITH FBR OR ACL OR ANYTHING REAL AT ALL. MADE AS A JOKE FOR 8 GUYS TO LAUGH AT UNTIL THEY GET PAID. DIRECT DEPoSIT IS TAKING SO LONG WE HAD TIME TO MAKE THIS FAKE WEBSITE.

What Our Clients Say!

Read what our clients have to say

"George is Easy Money"

“I’ve known George for many years. We all know that he’s easy money and a bitch ass motherfucker.”

Albert

San Francisco

"He a ho fo' sho'"

"I’ve been with SafeHaven for years. Their affordable premiums and excellent customer service make them the go-to choice for my property insurance."

John Miller

San Francisco

"Gave me a herp I've never seen"

"When I filed a claim after an accident, SafeHaven made the process so smooth. Fast approval and fair compensation. Highly recommend!"

Sarah T.

San Francisco

Frequently Asked Questions

Find answers to commonly asked questions about George's shirts, hats, mugs, hoodies, and so much more!

🤔 Who is George?

Let’s just say… if you don’t know a George, you might be the George. He’s the friend who forgets the group order, shows up late and drunk, and never folds pre-flop with 9-4 off-suit.

👕 What size should I get?

Our shirts run true to size and are printed on premium cotton blends. If you're built like George (flimsy on structure, bold in the chest), consider sizing up. Still unsure? Check the size chart on each product page.

😈 Can I customize a shirt with my own roast?

Hell yes. Hit us up at [your email] with your idea, and we’ll let you know if it’s printable, legal, and hilarious.

🧠 I have a story about George. Can I submit it?

YES. Use our “Submit a George Story” form and we might feature it on the site, in a shirt, or in the newsletter. Full credit, full roast.

📦 How long does shipping take?

We typically process and ship orders in 2–5 business days. Delivery times depend on your location, but George swore he’d “handle it” last week, so we’ve taken matters into our own hands.